Pity Parties

I consider myself to be a pretty nice person.

I don't go out of my way to make someone feel bad or hurt someone, I don't see how people can do that to others. It kind of makes me feel sick inside thinking about the state of mind you would have to be in to purposely hurt someone, physically or emotionally. I just don't get it. 

(Which makes me start to think about the debate on human nature.. but before I get off topic-) 

But one of the things that really gets me frustrated is listening to pity parties. I will listen to people talk when they are upset, because everyone needs that ever once and a while. Everyone needs a little extra support from time to time, but when it starts to become an every day thing, when it turns into a way to get attention and just to get attention, it crosses the line. I can't stand it. It takes my support, something I willingly and happily give and betrays my trust. I honestly feel used when I have to listen to one. 

When people tell me they have problems I try my best to help them out, give them my opinions and let them talk it out, then when they come back to me and want to talk about the same thing I want to hear something has changed, that they are putting forth some sort of effort to change and grow from whatever trial they were experiencing. Not the same old story. Little life hint: Nothing comes from nothing. Thee end. If you are not willing to put forth the effort to try to help yourself, don't be surprised when nothing changes. Now these people who come to me are good people, they are nice and kind people. I enjoy their company. They are my friends. At times while they are going on and on about how no one likes them, or they have no confidence, or this or that happened to them, I can't tell whats real and whats just an act for attention. When it happens that often there is a problem. 

Their cry of wolf tends to fall on deaf ears. 

I want to shake them and get it through to them that these pity parties are, in all honesty, waisting both of our time. I don't want to listen to you whine about your "rough" life and you are doing nothing to gain that attention your seeking. If you have a problem, please, PLEASE come to me. Tell me about it. Let me help or at least be a vent for some emotions. I want to know whats really bothering you. I want to help you with whatever I can. But as soon as it becomes more then an honest cry for help, you let me down. 

So please, stop inviting me to your pity parties.