Monsters are real, Ghosts are real too.
They live inside us,
and sometimes,
they win.
-Stephen King
So I have been having a hard year thus far. Just fighting to keep my head above water at this point. Every little thing is sending me into a frenzy, like for instance, minutes ago I had a complete panic attack over something so ridiculous it's not even worth worrying about. I am still not quite over it and I hope sleep will fine me soon.
I have decided to see a counselor, like a psychiatrist, someone to help me with my anxiety more then just someone to help me with therapy. At first I was worried about being looked at as insane, well, I still am, but I want to go now. It is something I need in my life at this point. I am nervous to go, I sometimes think I am building it up too much, that it won't really help me as much as I want it, or expect it to. And that makes me nervous. I can't afford to get shot down again, to expect something I should have not expected. To build myself up to be let down.
I really hope it does something, I can hardly wait to go in. Even the wait is building my anxiety. I can't stand not being in control about all of this, all of me. It is making me crazy. I don't want to let those monsters win again, but they are wearing me down and making me tired. I just don't know what to do any more.
They live inside us,
and sometimes,
they win.
-Stephen King
So I have been having a hard year thus far. Just fighting to keep my head above water at this point. Every little thing is sending me into a frenzy, like for instance, minutes ago I had a complete panic attack over something so ridiculous it's not even worth worrying about. I am still not quite over it and I hope sleep will fine me soon.
I have decided to see a counselor, like a psychiatrist, someone to help me with my anxiety more then just someone to help me with therapy. At first I was worried about being looked at as insane, well, I still am, but I want to go now. It is something I need in my life at this point. I am nervous to go, I sometimes think I am building it up too much, that it won't really help me as much as I want it, or expect it to. And that makes me nervous. I can't afford to get shot down again, to expect something I should have not expected. To build myself up to be let down.
I really hope it does something, I can hardly wait to go in. Even the wait is building my anxiety. I can't stand not being in control about all of this, all of me. It is making me crazy. I don't want to let those monsters win again, but they are wearing me down and making me tired. I just don't know what to do any more.
